Stay-At-Home Dads and the Expectation of Male Domination

This image is taken from an article in the NY Post by Rachelle Bergstein titled, "Stay-at-home dads are finding out parenting is hard". The picture, set in the family's living room, depicts father Jason Greene and his four children Wyatt, Miciah, Corbin and Arwin. Jason sits in the middle of the children, looking pensive and tired as he attempts to fold the overflowing basket of laundry set in front of him. One towel is draped over his shoulder, another over his thigh, and a third in his hands. His grey t-shirt hangs haphazardly on his figure, rumpled and wrinkled. In sharp contrast to his perceived misery, his children are all having fun on their respective devices: Wyatt, the oldest, is posing as if chatting on his cell phone while his other arm rests on Jason unoccupied shoulder. Miciah smirks at the camera while texting a friend. Sitting on the floor, Corbin has a Nintendo DS propped on the laundry basket, his fists are up in celebration. Mirroring her brother, the youngest, Arwin, rests a Nintendo Switch on the opposite side of the laundry bin as she grins into the camera over her glasses. 

In the original 1912 piece, "Authority and Autonomy in Marriage", Marianne Weber analyzes the historical development of the relations between men and women, beginning with Christian notions of subordination through the shifting implications of Puritan religious equality and ending with the rise of the Machine Age she observed around her in the late 19th to mid-20th century. Weber (2003) first describes marriage as God's "oldest institution and order" (87), designating the man as the master and the woman as the subordinate. This religious-cultural imperative deified monogamy and the wholehearted spiritual dedication of a person to one other. This norm somewhat shifted, though, as Puritans in the 15th century advanced the idea of "[obeying] God more than human beings" (Weber 2003:89), meaning that every person first and foremost has a responsibility to themselves to exercise autonomy and develop an individual personality. For women, this meant that rather than being morally compelled to submit to their husband, they had religious and ethical grounds to seek their own fulfillment and be valued for their inner virtues. However, Weber clarifies, despite the advancements that had been made in gender equality up to that point, the fight was not yet won: as she was observing around her, male domination was something that had already seeped into society, and their authority was something form-principle. Marital law uphold an obedience article that designated the husband as the master of all family matters. Parental authority was withheld from women until the passing of their husbands. Plus, all of a woman's assets were relinquished to the husband upon marriage. Reflecting on this historical development, Weber emphasized the importance of autonomy in marital relations and the value of voluntary subordination. Otherwise, a person's moral judgement and intellectual capabilities are stunted. 

Marianne Weber passed away 1954, and marriage has evolved further still since her 1912 ruminations. One such development has been the rise of stay-at-home dads, a parallel to the much more common stay-at-home mom. Indeed, the number of non-working fathers has doubled from 1985-2012. However, societal resistance to these men only calls more attention to the structural cementation of male domination. While many laws that relinquished control of family matters to the husband have been repealed or overturned (e.g., U.S. Head and Master Laws), there are still lingering cultural expectations for men and women's place in the home. Certainly, when the roles are switched, both partners receive much ire and judgement: the woman is chastised for neglecting her duty to nurture her children while the man is made to question his masculinity for failing to provide for and protect his family. Further, he is not even accepted by fellow caretakers as non-working mothers question his ability to care for his children and mind the home. In contrast to Weber's concerns about voluntary subordination, the reversal of roles here is often voluntary by both parties. But even if men are proud of their vocation and exercising autonomy over their lifestyle and choices, they still receive scorn. Despite the growing normality of shifting gender roles and non-working fathers, the principle of men's domination over women is still strong in our cultural fabric and pushes back against breaks in tradition. This itself is stifling and prevents both man and woman from realizing their best interests. Especially in the U.S., where Christian ideals are still lauded as moral principle, many cannot fathom the thought of a man relinquishing his power and control over his wife and family. 

References:

Brian, Zak. 2019. "Jason Greene at home with his kids". From NY Post. Retrieved April 19, 2024 (https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2019/04/dads-greene-1a.jpg?resize=1536,1024&quality=75&strip=all). 

Weber, Marianne, and Craig R. Bermingham. 2003. "Authority and Autonomy in Marriage." Sociological theory 21(2): 85-102.