A Seemingly Perfect Marriage - Weber's Take on Women in the House

 

    The image above is a stock photo from the movie, “Don’t Worry Darling” directed by Olivia Wilde in 2022. The main premise of the movie showcases an idealized, tight knit, and stereotypical community of heterosexual married couples in the town of Victory. During the day, the men will go off to work on a top secret project and the women stay in the home to do their wifely duties around the house. This lifestyle is meant to create a sense of bliss and utopic feeling for both parties. As time moves through the movie, the main character Alice begins to realize that the people around her, including her husband, are acting strange as if they are hiding something. In the end, Alice discovered that she was drugged and placed into this experimental world that curates this seemingly perfect state by her partner, Jack. All Jack wanted was to take control of his relationship and live this typical American Dream life with his wife. This twisted movie brings to light this fantasy that some men have about being the ruler of the house and society. One of Alice’s friends, however, provides another take on these relationships and reveals that she wants to stay in this society and willingly has accepted her condition. 

    Sociologist Marianne Weber shares her theory on authority and autonomy when it comes to marriage and the home. She was married to a fellow sociologist, Max Weber, where they experienced an intellectual and respectful relationship. During the early 20th century, Marianne Weber explored these concepts of marriage and the power dynamics between partners. In 2003, Craig R. Bermingham wrote a paper commenting on this material and shared his thoughts on the topic. In this paper, the author discusses how Weber saw marriage as a back and forth between authority, primarily stemming from the man to the woman, and autonomy where women have the ability to make their own independent choices. Weber claims that women are often put into the position where they are suppressed into a state of subordination by the man. They are placed into this housewife role by society because of cultural and legal norms that have defined women for centuries. She expands on this theory further to state that these stereotypes can also be encouraged in the privacy of homes as men feel they have the control to. This way of thinking can influence society as well even though it is concealed from the public eye. This type of suppression leads into politics, the workplace, and more by women feeling that they do not belong in these positions. Weber voices her opinion for a deep change and advocates for women’s rights as well as a feminist movement. 

When looking at this modern day movie, we are able to see many of Weber’s theories come into play. While Weber understands that women are often put down by their husbands and can be treated as an unequal partner in the relationship, she also acknowledges that sometimes women can choose this lifestyle and still be content. Marriages should be about mutual respect and understanding of one another. For example, Alice in the movie was taken out of her normal life without her consent and forced to participate in this fake reality where she is severely oppressed. However, her friend admits to deciding to live in this community so that she can be with her passed children once again even though she knows it isn’t real. Although she is treated as a housewife with her sole responsibility being to look after the children and the house, she is happy.  

Dargis, Manohla. “‘Don’t Worry Darling’ Review: Burning down the Dollhouse.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 21 Sept. 2022, www.nytimes.com/2022/09/21/movies/dont-worry-darling-review.html. 

Weber, Marianne and Craig R. Bermingham. 2003. “Authority and Autonomy in Marriage.” Sociological Theory 21(2):85-102.