Tradwives: Voluntary Subordination?


Shelby Goodwin

    In “Authority and Autonomy in Marriage,” Marianne Weber argues that marriage should revolve around the autonomy of both spouses. Thus, men should not have a disproportionate amount of authority over their wives. Except, Weber claims, if a woman can voluntarily subordinate her will to her husband’s while maintaining her autonomy: “...the autonomous woman can of course also make her husband’s will her own, and place her wishes and interests behind his… But if, instead of such free giving of one’s self, the woman obliges his needs and everyday goals against her inner voice… she commits blasphemy against her own human dignity…” (Weber 2003: 93). What does obliging “his needs and everyday goals against her inner voice” look like – especially knowing that women are socialized to stifle their “inner voice” in the favor of men’s desires? The line between voluntary and coerced subordination is difficult to define, as Weber frames this issue as a matter of individuals and their unique needs. 
The image I selected depicts a tradwife, Alena Kate Pettitt, smiling as she goes about her household duties. Pettitt, who founded the blog The Darling Academy, defines tradwives as  “the homemakers of our generation who are happy to submit to, keep house, and spoil their husbands like it's 1959.” When asked why she is a tradwife, Pettitt replied, “I wouldn’t expect my husband to come home from a long day’s work and have to cook for me, because my role is being at home.” On feminism, she said: “My view of feminism is that it’s about choices” and argued that restricting women’s ability to stay at home is a form of “taking away choices.” Pettitt’s value of choice reflects Weber’s piece, which argues that the principles of autonomy and choice allow for ideal marriage. I would argue that tradwives reflect the pitfalls of a feminism which revolves around choice, i.e., choice feminism. Tradwives enter marriage committed to the role of traditional housewife, which includes “putting their husbands first" -- a clear power differential. I think this marriage structure may prevent women from choosing that they no longer want to occupy the role of tradwife, or wife at all for that matter – in the case that their “inner voice” eventually protests. 

 

Works Cited
Unknown Creator. 2020. “Untitled.” From BBC. Retrieved April 21, 2022 
Weber, M. & Bermingham, C. R. “Authority and Autonomy in Marriage: Translation with 
Introduction and Commentary.” Sociological Theory 21(2): 85-102.

 



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